18th Birthday Letter To My Father

you’ll always love me?! what the hell is your definition of love because I cannot accumulate a set of words deep enough to express the pain you have inflicted on me since you decided to lack your role as a father. to be blunt, you never deserved the title to begin with. i’ve been blessed with the opportunity to be alive for eighteen years and yet all of the memories i have made never begin, nor end with you. in my eighteen years of living, i have been through an immense amount of mental trauma, majority stemming from the lack of love that i never received from you. the lack of care, the neglect, and the blatant disrespect for a sense of family. i often find myself wishing that you could see the amazing person i turned out to be, without you, but then i am reminded that you are not worthy of the person i have become. your worth is very, very slim. i’m graduating, without you. i’m going to college, without you. i’m battling challenges, without you. i don’t need you and i never have. although that’s true, there is a difference between a need and a want.

have i ever needed you? no.

have i wished that you cared? yes.

have i wished that i had the father i always deserved? yes.

my world still revolves regardless of your presence, a father just would have been kind of nice. alongside my eighteenth birthday is my freedom from you. my freedom to speak my mind and you no longer to be able to act on your pitiful court threats because that is the only aspect that makes you feel superior. i am not sending this in hopes for a loving response in return. i am not asking for a response of denial because i have heard enough of your bullshit lies in my day. i have seen it all, and i have read it all so bullshitting your way out of this one is just pitiful on your behalf. you disgust me. with that said, don’t bullshit me. i know what kind of person you are and i always have. i am sending this text to let you know i didn’t need you then, i don’t need you now, nor do i need you in my future. i am free. i no longer have a pressing weight on my shoulders. i can finally say fuck you. from the bottom of my heart, fuck you and all of the pain you put me through that i didn’t deserve. i never deserved it. i am sending this text to let you know that i am destined for great things, and i never needed you. you’re a worthless piece of shit, a sorry excuse of a father and a human being. fuck you.

kindest regards,

the daughter who deserved more.